Who are ye?

If I had an ego (ahem), I’d be a little hurt that the most traffic this baby blog has ever had followed my lament for my old paper, the Daily Record, last week.

But hey, any view is a good view in my view and if a few more of you pop by to read my irregular musings on life, WELCOME!

The blog and I even got a name check from the grand dame of online media comment, Roy Greenslade, when I – along with  many others – took him to task for his particularly callous and vicious view on Trinity Mirror’s butchering of its Scottish titles. Hence the extra traffic methinks.

Still, the good thing is you all know who I am. No, it really is me. And I am a genuine – whisper it – lesbian. Cos that’s kinda assumed a whole lot of importance in the last few days, what with straight American men suddenly embracing their inner dyke and claiming to be gay girls in blogs.

I’m not sure I can even begin to get my head round it. Not the pretending to be someone else. t’interweb has encouraged that kind of malarkey since Y2K was a dot on the horizon.

What surprises me (and I really should know better by now) is that these guys seemed to believe no-one would ever find out about the charade. Hello!  You can’t post stuff online and imagine that you can always remain anonymous. The daftest poster on the dumbest messageboard has surely learned that lesson, especially now that the tabloids have taken to wholesale lifting of said daft posts on dumb messageboards to fill pages.

Plus there are folks out there who are seriously good at finding out online stuff. Not me, obviously – I can’t even build a basic website. But the clever clogs of the cyberworld mean business when they think someone is taking the piss.

Me, I’m too cautious and boring to say anything outrageous online. And that’s because the advice of an old boss always rings in my ears whenever I do post here or on those daft messageboards I mentioned earlier.

He was talking about writing a column for a newspaper but his counsel is quite pertinent to allegedly anonymous online postings.

‘Never say in print what you wouldn’t be willing to say to someone’s face or to defend while having a pint in a pub.’

Mind you, it’s probably just as well I’m the only eejit heeding his advice. Imagine how dull t’interweb would be then …

And finally, in other news, my brilliant other half, Debbie Browett, was given an MBE in the Queen’s Birthday Honours on Saturday.

Eat yer heart out, Sir Brucie!

Debbie was rewarded for her tireless work on improving LGBT equality and diversity in the Home Office through its staff network, SPECTRUM.

I won’t pretend she wasn’t more than a little discomfited by the news of the award. For a start, she’s no fan of the monarchy and her politics take her a little further to the left than the current incumbents of Downing Street might ever wander.

However, after pondering her decision on whether to accept the gong for a week or so, she decided to accept because:

  1. HM’s Honours are the only current system of civic awards we have in the UK;
  2. Turning it down would go against the principle Debbie has of always (as far as possible) being a positive, out role model, particularly for those who are still afraid to be out at work;
  3. We get a day out at the Palace and the chance to wear our suits again!

So, congratulations again, Deborah Browett MBE.

Words don’t come easy

Lang may yer lum reek Meaning may you live long and prosper, long may you thrive. Eg: Congratulations on your MBE, Debbie – lang may yer lum reek!

Wheest n: quiet, silence; a command for quiet or silence. Eg: Haud yer wheesht, I cannae hear masel think

Keech n: excrement. Eg: The whole van was reeking after Dudley rolled in dog’s keech at the park

Corrie-fisted n: left-handed. Eg: Debbie holds her knife in her left hand like she’s corrie-fisted

Wallies n: false teeth Eg: The bus ride was that shoogly that yer granda’s wallies fell out on Sauchiehall Street

Bogey n: a home-made cart, usually from old pram wheels, a plank of wood and a piece of rope. adj: finished, over (usually pertaining to games, part. football or hares n hunts). Eg: The wean ended up wi’ a stookie after he ran his bogey right into the back of the No9 bus

Crabbit adj: bad-tempered, irritable. Eg: Och he’s nothing but a crabbit auld so-and-so, ignore him

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